The Power of the Tongue

As I was writing "Listen, Pray, Be Calm," I was reminded of many scripture passages and daily devotionals that I've been reading over the last few months.  I made a list of those Bible verses that seemed the most profound to me when considering the power of the tongue.  Can you see a theme unfolding in these warnings and words of wisdom?

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  

Proverbs 15:1

"And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient." 

2 Timothy 1:8-9 

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue."

Proverbs 18:21

"But no man can tame the tongue.  It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."

James 3:8

"There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword,
But the tongue of the wise promotes health."

Proverbs 12:1

It seems to me that the Bible puts great importance on choosing your words wisely.  Galatians 5 speaks of walking in or by the Spirit so as not to gratify the desires of the flesh.  The list of acts of the flesh includes fits of anger or rage and also strife or discord.  We know these situations typically include hurtful words.  But the Spirit has the power to tame the tongue!  Galatians 5:22-24 promises: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." 

Do you see the difficulty of self-control?  Do you see the reality that "no man can tame the tongue" all the time?  Do you see the wonderful promise of the Holy Spirit in our times of need and the wonderful gift of God's grace?

from Proverbs 31 Ministries

Here are a couple more verses that I have come to cherish lately:

"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. 

God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him."  

1 John 4:16  

"Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him." 

Psalm 37:7

In reading these particular Bible passages, in this particular order, I found a story that spoke to my soul.  Just another part of my journey that I wanted to journal and share with you, as I continue to lean on Him and learn.  

Have you noticed a theme in any of the words you've read or heard lately?

Listen, Pray, Be Calm

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak,

slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” 

James 1:19-20

Be quick to hear and slow to speak… LISTEN!

Catherine M. Wallace said: “Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what.  If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”  I’ve also heard it said that: “While we are trying to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”   

This advice is not limited only to those raising up little ones.  Listen earnestly to everyone in your life.  Be aware of how often you have an emotional reaction that impacts your words and actions.  Be aware of how often others speak and you only hear part of what they say.  Be aware of assumptions you make about what others are really saying.  Think of how much you have to lose when you are too busy to just listen. 

Slow down and PRAY!

I know I’ve heard it said more than once: “Determine to pray more words over your marriage than you speak about your marriage.”  Lysa TerKeurst writes about this and reflects: “I think about things. Discuss things. Complain about things. Attempt to fix things. Work on things. Apologize for things. Want to change things. And then I discuss things some more.  But talking about things, thinking about things and working on things … these are not at all the same as praying for them.”  Then, in her article “Five Scriptures to Pray Over Your Marriage,” she lists specific scriptures that you can pray.

In October 2013, I wrote: “I've been focusing more on how to pray without ceasing.  It seems to me that a strong mother would try to take time to put things in perspective and to pray before speaking and acting... but I'm a work in progress.  I'm more aware now though of how I need prayer and of what can quench the Spirit.” See “Positive Perspective” for more on intentionality, prayer, grace, and choosing love and joy. And remember, when you pray, to wait in expectation... stop and listen to God.

 
Slow down and BE. CALM.  

Ruth Schwenk starts her article by sharing how she was venting to her sister.  Been there?  Been there.  Then Ruth shares how her sister quietly spoke these wonderful words: “I know how hard it is, but you have to remember that a mom sets the tone for her household.  The mood of your family will ultimately reflect your own.”  In her article “Mom Sets the Tone: 5 ways to reset your mood when anger strikes,” Ruth gives specific ways that she improves her mood and attitude when feeling on edge.  Also, please see my reflection, “Mothers Matter,” for more on the importance of choosing words wisely, using time wisely, and embracing real life and joy. 

When calm, it's easier to have perspective.  In "P E A C E," I review some of Ann Voskamp's reflections about the poison of perfection, about the promise of hope and love, and about "making space in the pace for peace."  

I recently read: "More patience, less reaction."  I've also seen this on Pinterest:

 
Ever responded to an upset, crying, yelling child with “You. Need. To. CALM DOWN!” …yelling yourself?  Been there?  Been there.  I’m not perfect.  My husband is not perfect.  My kids are not perfect. But, there is someone who was and is perfect, and He is here for you!  Your kids don't need perfect... They need you, and they need you to lead them to Him.  How will others learn from us if we don’t teach them in our talk and with our own walk?  I’m ready to keep leaning and learning!

Listen, pray, be calm, then speak!   

I've heard that: "You can't recover the word after it's said." As scripture cautions: anger ≠ right conduct.  It's as simple as this: An angry person doesn't do what God approves of.  If you want to be slow to anger, then be quick to turn to prayer and peace.  As Sheila Walsh said, "Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ."

Snow Fun

Winter is no fun without some snow fun!

Asher and I went ice fishing for the first time.  He was thrilled to catch his first fish!  Thankfully our friend, Doug, was there, because I had no idea what I was doing.  Yes, I did put the live bait on the hook, once I figured out where to hook the minnows.  Long story short:  Asher thinks it's cold.  He's getting kind of excited.  A fish steals his bait right off the hook.  Asher decides it's not so cold and "This is more fun than I thought it'd be, mom."  Asher wants some hot cocoa, but mom says let's fish a little longer.  Little nibble.  Nothing.  Got one!  Asher stares in excitement and surprise but backs away as the trout jumps off the hook and flops on the ground.  He can't wait to get home to tell dad all about it and show brother pictures and the fish!

Saturday morning was a little chilly, but we didn't notice as much as we bundled up.  After the lower teens but negative 9 with windchill, the 30 degree weather on Sunday was like a "heat wave."  The boys enjoyed the big fluffy flakes falling and then FINALLY getting to play in the snow.  We got five inches Saturday afternoon, which adds up to a lot in the yard with all that was already there.  Looks like we will wake up to another four to seven inches tomorrow morning.

Still climbing trees, walking with their sticks, and playing with dump trucks.  Of course, in the winter, it's much more fun to build forts because of all the snow!  Asher had quite the fort set up in the yard.  Ezra is happy to climb hills and make snow angels.

Valentine's Day Cards 2014

Last weekend we spent an afternoon making Valentine's gifts.  Here is a picture of the table when we were almost done:

We figure the kids will get lots of candy from other classmates, so we try to make fun cards to go with other gifts.  I found a dozen glittery pencils on clearance for $1.  So, with the printer ink and card-stock paper I already had at home, we spent $2 on Asher's Valentine's for school.  He decided on the following three phrases for his cards:                            You've got the write stuff Valentine.

Write on, Valentine!

Valentine, you are all write by me.

Of course, it looks simple, but there's always some little unforeseen detail. I typed the cards on Word, equally spacing the sentiments so I could just cut strips with my paper cutter.  After printing, we were ready to roll.  Except that I then realized the hole puncher was too small for the diameter of the pencils and the paper was too wide for the length of the pencils (causing the cards to bow out).  No worries though.  We just trimmed a little off the left and right of the cards and then punched three or four holes in a cluster to fit the pencils through.  It went quickly after that.

Last year, Ezra didn't have that many kids in his Preschool, so we were able to get each child a Matchbox car.  One set of cards read: I "wheelie" like you.  Happy Valentine's day!  The other set of cards read: I like how you roll.  Happy Valentine's Day!  See my post "Pinspiration: Valentine's Sentiments" for links to these cards and more.

This year, Ezra decided to share one of his favorite snacks: Goldfish crackers.  His cards look like a fish bowl and say: So glad we're in the same school!  There are directions and a free printable at i heart nap time, which make these gifts really simple.  Short story... I printed a coupon for Michael's and purchased the round bags.  Then I printed a Target coupon for Goldfish that were also on sale at the time.  After that it was just click, print, cut, and have Ezra sign his name.  Then he helped me scoop Goldfish and fill each bag.

Using the same themes, I made a few of my own cards on PhotoShop for our boys, my niece, and my nephew.  The boys sent pencils and Goldfish to my niece and nephew.  We are giving Asher a gigantic pad of lined paper (like poster size) and pencils.  Ezra will get a small notebook, pencils, and some dinosaur erasers.  Their cards say: You're just write for me Valentine!

Ezra's teachers get the cards (above) saying: You are o'fish'ally the best teacher!  Asher's teacher and student teacher each get a red ruler with a card (below) saying: You rule! Happy Valentine's Day.

Asher's teacher needed some classroom supplies, so we decided to do daily gifts for her this week.  I made chalkboard sentiments to put on foam hearts I already had and packaged with string and bags that we also already had.  Monday: You are TOPS with me. (pencil top erasers).  Tuesday: We are STUCK on you! (glue).  Wednesday: You have a HEART of gold! (Dove dark chocolate hearts... because who couldn't use some chocolate now and then?) Thursday: teacher poem (below).  Friday: You Rule! (ruler)

When I was printing the chalkboard sentiments, I put the teacher poem at the bottom of the page.  The final dimensions were 5 1/2" H x 8 1/2" W.  I purchased two wood rulers and used ribbon, glue, and cardboard that I had on hand.  The rulers are cut at the 7 7/8" mark and glued together to make a frame.  It works out well that the ruler on the top already has holes in just the right place for a ribbon to hang the picture.  Ezra's teachers will get a special gift from us on Friday: this quote on a card with a bag of chocolate hearts.

Also, I'm giving Al daily gifts.  I decided to print cards to go with snacks for him to have at work.  Monday is a tag saying: You have my heart.  I enclosed a heart sugar cookie and some Dove dark chocolate hearts.  Yes, I love these hearts.  And, I can eat some too, because I've been looking for deals.  You can't beat buying these hearts at Target on sale for $3.00 each.  Plus, I had a $1.50 Target coupon (off the purchase of two bags) combined with a 15% off Cartwheel coupon and the 5% I get off when using my Target card.  In the end, I got two bags for less than the retail price of one.  That's a delicious deal!

Tuesday and Thursday are fruit because "I'm bananas for you" and "You're the apple of my eye."  Wednesday is a donut from his favorite coffee shop with the fun quote: Donut you know how much I love you?  Friday is Godiva hot chocolate with the note: You warm my heart.  Also, I made him a gift...

This is a combination of a number of ideas I've seen on Pinterest.  It's scrabble letters spelling "LOVE" over our wedding vows.  This is a special little gift, mostly because we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary at the end of 2013.

Pinspiration: Kindness

You know that saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes?  Here are a few fresh takes on that perspective:

I think it's a good reminder that you never really know what another person is dealing with.  I think it's a good reminder of the pain of judgement and the power of prayer, compassion, and love.

My oldest recently read the book Hip Hop Speaks to Children: a celebration of poetry with a beat. Included in the book is this lyrical poetry:

Who Will Cry? by Antwone Fisher

Who will cry for the little boy?
Lost and all alone.
Who will cry for the little boy?
Abandoned without his own?

Who will cry for the little boy?
He cried himself to sleep.
Who will cry for the little boy?
He never had for keeps.

Who will cry for the little boy?
He walked the burning sand.
Who will cry for the little boy?
The boy inside the man.

Who will cry for the little boy?
Who knows well hurt and pain.
Who will cry for the little boy?
He died again and again.

Who will cry for the little boy?
A good boy he tried to be.
Who will cry for the little boy?
Who cries inside of me?

Let's be honest.  Everyone of us is a sinner (Romans 3:23).  Everyone of us has struggles at some point.  Everyone of us could benefit from the power of prayer and love.

Let's not just imagine how things could be different.  Let's change how we connect.  Oh the power of compassion and kindness!  

Sacrifice

The titles of my morning devotions yesterday and today were "Sacrifice Yourself to Serve" and "Sacrifice Praise."  Most of us discuss the benefits of prayer and of loving one another, but I think it's less often that we rave about the importance of self-sacrifice.

More often than not my morning devotions sing the praise of praising God before starting the day.  They speak of how praising God will start your day right.  The question is whether or not we know how to really glorify God in our our praise and in our day.  Do we praise God to get the blessings (looking toward the outcome for us)?  Or, do we praise God for who He is and how He directs our path (emphasis on his character and our relationship)? 

Hebrews 13:15 says, "Let us constantly and at all times offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, which is the fruit of the lips that thankfully acknowledge and confess and glorify His name."

This scripture describes praise.  Praise is "fruit of the lips," which is the action of speaking or the good gift of your words.   Praise is gratitude in recognition.  Acknowledgement is not merely knowing something, but the recognition of the existence and truth of God.  Acknowledgment is given in appreciation or gratitude.  Praise is to confess, which is to acknowledge our need for God and to declare or proclaim His goodness.  Praise is to glorify His name.

Praise really is all about glorifying God.  To glorify is to worship God, honor God, and offer praise to God.  To glorify is to exalt God.  To glorify is also to acknowledge His distinguished glory and God's superiority.  Because God is greater than us, is higher than us, is above all.

Did you see that praise is also offering up to God a sacrifice?  Did you see that praise is to be constant?  If we are to praise continually, then we are to sacrifice to the selfish desires of our flesh.  If we are to praise continually, then we are to pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17).  Easy, right?!

It is God's will that we rejoice, pray, and give thanks (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).  Rejoice always!  Choose joy!  Choose God!  The reason that we can do all this is because God fulfills His promises.

Hebrews 8:10-11 says, "I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts.  I will be their God, and they will be my people... they will all know me."

In the New Testament, there is a new covenant.  We can rejoice because we have God's eternal love and presence, we have Jesus Christ and His sacrifice for us, we have God's forgiveness, we have God's Spirit right here and right now.

So, honestly, it isn't easy.  But, it isn't impossible.  I think of a line I saw on Pinterest: "Did you think to pray?"

Because sometimes life needs an anthem or probably because I tend to think in song, I share with you some lyrics that I think of often.  "Less of Me and More of You" is a theme in a variety of songs, and I pray this often.  I know life isn't always sunny, and in those times I've found solace in the song "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns.  The longer I think on the line stating "I praise the God who gives and takes away," the more meaning I find in that statement.  The chorus is "you never left my side... I will praise you in this storm."  To me, that seems to encompass a sacrifice of praise.                                                                                   Given His sacrifice and love I often sing "all I have in you is more than enough" (from Chris Tomlin in "Enough").  Finally, my heart is always uplifted to hear my boys sing their favorite song "10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)" by Matt Redman: "Sing like never before oh my soul.  I worship your holy name.  The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning.  It's time to sing your song again. Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes."   

Pinspiration: Love

In keeping with the theme in my recent posts (L.O.V.E. and I Have a Dream), here are some Pinterest images and quotes that I have found inspiring...

I really like the images from I do{odle}!

 Here are two favorites from my "Health: Mind & Soul" Pinterest board:

Cards at the right are from Suzanne Eller.

If you would like another version of the verse from 1 Corinthians 13 to decorate your home this February, The Girl Creative has a nice Valentine Subway Art printable for free.

Two selections from my "Learning: Spiritual" Pinterest board:

1. From www.emilyburgerdesigns.com and available on Etsy.
2. Featured on many sites, but originally from unbrokenbygrace.

There are also various images online associated with a number of moving quotes:

"Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great." ~ Mark Twain
"The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, "I was wrong." ~ Sydney J. Harris
"Love me when I least deserve it because that is when I really need it." ~ Swedish Proverb
"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give." ~ Sir Winston Churchill

Here are two items from my "Photography, Scrapbooking, & Decorative Crafts" board that I'd like to get up in our home:

1. pallet wood sign
2. Live, Love, Care, & Speak antiqued plank typography sign

Finally, a few selections from my "Decorating: Kids' Spaces" Pinterest board.  While I'd like to hang these up for my children, I'm convinced they would also be inspiring for adults:

1. Do More Than... wooden wall art
2. Mathematics of Life design
3. Brave canvas

I'll end with a poem by Mary Rita Schilke Korzan.  While parents truly are exceptionally influential in their children's lives, the truth is all children also learn from the words and actions of everyone in their lives and from the examples in the world around them. 

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING 

When you thought I wasn't looking

I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,

and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking

I saw you feed a stray cat,

and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking

I saw you make my favorite cake for me,

and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking

I heard you say a prayer,

and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to,

and I learned to trust in Him.
 
When you thought I wasn't looking

I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick,

and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
 
When you thought I wasn't looking

I saw you take care of our home and everyone in it,

and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
 
When you thought I wasn't looking

I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good,

I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
 
When you thought I wasn't looking

I saw tears come from your eyes,

and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking

I saw that you cared,

and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
 
When you thought I wasn't looking

I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know

to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
 
When you thought I wasn't looking

I looked at you and wanted to say,

"Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."