Let it Go!

It was the middle of last week.  It was a school night, and all the homework and chores were done.  Before pm preschool, my youngest helped me bake banana bread for snack.  After school, my oldest helped me get the lasagna ready.  Then the boys set the table.  They were motivated!  It was movie night on a school night!

I was excited to curl up on the couch with my boys and finally get to watch “Frozen.”  I was happy to be relaxing, to know that my husband would come home soon to join us, and to know supper was already cooking in the oven.  It was a great movie, BUT… I can’t get the song “Let it Go” out of my head now!

Since I can’t escape this song, I’m going to share what I’ve learned from various versions of this song and my own recent thoughts on why I need to learn to let it go myself.  First, let me say, that I do enjoy hearing my children sing.  Although, some days, I do wish they’d switch the play list up a bit. 

I want my kids to have a healthy emotional intelligence.  We’ve had a number of great discussions about the phrases: “Conceal, don’t feel.  Don’t let them know.”  Just part of our ongoing discussions about how feelings aren’t ever bad, but you have a choice on how you respond to “big feelings.”  Yes, my children are blessed with a mother who therapizes at times.  Don’t worry, my good friend (also a mother and also a therapist in her pre-parenting days) has assured me that we will mess our kids up on our own special way.  It has occurred to me more than once, however, that I need to let it go if I want my kids to learn to do the same.

How often do you conceal your reality?  How often do you say you’re fine when you’re not?  How often do you try to be someone you’re not?  

Many times I have heard my children passionately proclaim the following: 

“Let it go!  Let it go!  Turn away and slam the door!"  

"I don’t care what they’re going to say!” 

"Here I stand and here I’ll stay!"

It’s really hard not to feel the conviction and freedom in the lyrics.  I want to be passionate and purposeful.  And, I want to raise children that are confident in themselves and that will stand on their own convictions.  It’s easier to be the woman, wife, and mother that I want to be when I turn my back on perfection. 

Also, there’s the guilt  and anxiety that many of us feel.  Yes, that’s in the song too: 

“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small. 

And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.”  

I think perspective really comes after deciding to slam the door on feelings controlling us.  (Yes, you should acknowledge and feel your emotions, but I’m talking about feelings controlling your thoughts and actions.)

How good would it feel to let it go?!  

Speaking of different perspectives… I think I can’t get this song out of my head partly due to the many versions that have come across my path in the last week:  

JimmyFallon, Idina Menzel & The Roots sing “Let it Go” from “Frozen” with classroom instruments.

Brian Hull does the voices of Disney and Pixar characters singing “Let it Go.”

Deva Dalporto sings her own “Let it Go – Mom Parody.”

Deva Dalporto’s alternate lyrics from a mom’s perspective also speak to the positive impact of a little distance:

“It’s funny how some distance makes them seem so cute. 

And the kids that drove me crazy don’t bother me at all.

It’s time to see what I can do when my hands aren’t covered in your poo…

Let it go!  Let it go!”

Of course, this reflection comes after a litany of daily situations that most moms can relate to.  Here is how her song starts: “The night light glows in the nursery tonight, not a tantrum to be seen.  My living room’s a pig sty, and it looks like I need to clean.  My kid was howling like a crazy beast outside.  Couldn’t quiet him…”  And, then she retreats to the toilet: “Don’t let them in.  Don’t let them see.  Take a moment to yourself and pee.”  I found this very funny, because I’ve been there!  Have you been there?

The thing is today I did let go of perfection and, while I prioritized a little to get some things done, I made sure to put taking care of me on the list of things I need to do.  One of Deva Dalporto’s refrains says: “Let it go.  Let it go.  It’s okay to shower at noon.”  Wow, that’s totally my day today!  I did shower at noon, and my kids are still in their pajamas.  I finished my book today while the boys filled the living room with wood unit blocks, people, and a variety of cars.  They happily played for a couple of hours, and we just had a fun, chill afternoon.

You know what my book said?  The heading was “Got Guilt?”  It’s amazing how a little perspective, a simple but different look at a situation, can make you laugh and breathe.  Thanks to Dr. Kevin Leman for this gem: “If you’re evaluating everything that you do during the day and starting to sort out your highest priorities and what you can let go, something’s going to happen.  You’re going to be flooded with guilt.  But I can’t not go to that lunch, you think.  I’ll really offend my friends! If you have friends like that, then I’m sorry for you.  Get some new ones.”  Sometimes we need to let go of our internal expectations, but sometimes we need to let go of outside pressures too.

I want to be authentic and live a real life.  I want people around me with passion and purpose, and people that respect mine.  If the people in your life can’t be real and can’t respect the real you, then they aren’t real friends who will see you through the real that life inevitably brings.

So, here is the part of “Let it Go” that I love.  Here is the part that I just heard today in Demi Lovato’s full version of "Let it Go":

“I finally can breathe.  I know I left a life behind, but I’m too relieved to grieve.” 

Wow!  Also, Demi Lovato speaks of the contrast between “Standing, frozen in the life I’ve chosen” and the feeling when “The past is all behind me.”  Yes, sometimes you may feel frozen in fear, in sadness, in guilt, or in a you that other expect you to be, BUT... You too can walk on and slam the door on all that is holding you back from who you want to be.  Let it go!  Breathe!   

What do you need to slam the door on today?  What do you need to embrace and make time for today?

Rhythm: Finding the calm in the chaos

Have you ever been in that place where you have so much to do that you’re so   overwhelmed  and so you just do nothing?  Or, have you realized that sometimes you just  go, go, go trying to accomplish all the things you “need” to do, only to feel exhausted and unaccomplished?  Maybe you’ve found yourself in both of these situations!

Last night the kids went to bed well and on time.  So I was able to put up my feet and open up a book.  (Yes, a real book!  More on that later.)  Then… I heard footsteps coming down the stairs!  I watched as the door slowly opened… I saw our large Main Coon cat emerge from upstairs and walk directly to the basement.  (Breathe.)  Wow, it’s so nice when everyone in the house (even the cat) knows that it’s time to rest!  I went back to relaxing.  I was thankful, because I know some days it feels like I’m  chasing… chasing the kids and cats and calm.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how chaos can overtake a day.  Do you see that picture above?  It
may not look like much, but that mess in my front seat takes a lot of time to put together and even more time to put away.  All that is necessary to make Mondays run smoothly!  Too many days like this and life starts to feel a little out of balance.  Are you making yourself  crazy with too many chaotic days?

When people mention  balance, I take notice because that’s been my focus word and my goal for a few years now... or maybe more like the last decade.  When I started reading “Unforced Rhythms of Grace,” I took notice right away because she started with this: “I have long loathed the word balance.”  What?!  But, as I read the rest of what Beth Guckenberger had to say, I entirely agreed with her perspective.  She goes on to say: “A while ago, adapting a principle I read in Matthew, I exchanged ‘balance’ in my vocabulary with ‘rhythm.’ ” 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?

Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.

I’ll show you how to take a real rest.

Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.

Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.

I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.

Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

~ Matthew 11:28-30 (from the Message translation) 

Beth had written what I’d been trying to put into words!  I’d been thinking that one fast paced day I can handle, but I need my week to have rests in it too.  Rhythm!  Beth continues: “God, in all his perspective, has written a daily rhythm we can listen for and sing along to. Some days, the rhythm picks up a bit and you move fast, other days, it’s slow and sweet and the only way you can fold into the day’s rhythm is by listening to the one who has ‘written every day before they came to be (Psalm 139).’ Balance makes me think I am in control… Rhythm sounds like a posture of listening, discernment, and being Spirit-led.”

How do I find calm in the chaos? Step 1: learning to keep company with God.  Step 2: dancing to the rhythm of His song, not mine.

Remember that book I said I was reading?  Well, last night I was reading about how you can’t do it all.  Helpful, since this morning I woke up a little overwhelmed… overwhelmed with all that I want to do, with all that I feel obligated or think I “need” to do, and with the little energy I have to do it all (because of my head cold and because a little boy, scared of the rain last night, crawling into our bed).

Today I’ve decided to embrace that I can’t do it all.  I’m going to enjoy writing to you all.  I’m going to get the dishes done that are sitting in the sink.  I’m going to get outside and walk.  Yes today I’ll walk to get my boys from school and slow the pace. Today we will enjoy a leisurely chat on our walk home.  It’s Friday, and it’s finally stopped raining, so we’re going to set the pace to positive and pleasant and just roll with the rhythm of this day.  Today I’m going to do a little of everything and enjoy it all!  I’ve decided to take it one step at a time so I can listen for the rhythm that is today. 

How do you find calm in the chaos?  How have you embraced not do it all?  How do you find your rhythm?

Hope: He is risen!

In the fall of 2013, I reflected on how we sometimes believe lies in the post titled "Loss and Lies." I wrote: "Lately, I've been thinking that sometimes we don't want to see these things (pain and loss).  We don't want to talk about these things... But, what if we asked the hard questions and wrestled with the truth?"

source

I distinctly remember the day...
kneeling before a wooden cross,
repenting of sin,
picking up an old nail,
putting it in that wooden cross. 
realizing the pain 
of having someone you love suffering,
someone you love dying. 
realizing Jesus was separated 
from his father God.
realizing a perfect Jesus felt it all,
all our suffering and sin.
understanding His body was torn,
He was torn from God.
feeling fully the sacrifice and love
for the very first time.


When He wasn't what we expected, we watched and waited.  When He didn't do what we wanted, we turned from laying our robes at His feet to hanging Him out to dry.  We crucified Him with our words.  We crucified Him with nails in His hands.  But, honestly, our sin is what really nailed Jesus to the cross.  And, truly I tell you, Jesus' love is what kept Him there.

Today we celebrate Easter.  Today we celebrate Jesus' resurrection.  Today we celebrate love and true life. 

Today I sing "Oh Glorious Day!"
"Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sin far away
Rising, He justified freely for ever
One day He's coming, oh, Glorious Day, oh, Glorious Day"

Today we remember sin:
"One day they led Him up Calvary's mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me"

Today we remember hope:
"One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now is ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him,
The grave could not keep Him from rising again."

This morning I read "On Hope and Praise" by Teri Lynne Underwood on Managing Your Blessings.  Teri shares: "Hope in Scripture means “confident expectation.” Hope isn’t wishing something would happen; it’s believing God is faithful to His word. Hope means we stand firm in our faith even when the world seems to be falling apart around us. Our hope is based entirely on God’s character, not our abilities or efforts."  Teri continues: "Maybe the measure of my belief is the depth of my praise. Maybe the answer to my doubt is worship. Maybe the cure for shallow faith is deep praise.  I’m finding when I truly believe, when I have a confident expectation, when I hope continually in the Lord, there is nothing left to do but praise Him. And as I praise Him more, there is more hope, more faith, more belief.  I don’t know what situations you are facing today. I don’t know where you are struggling. I don’t know what fears and doubts are hindering your hope. But I do know this: praise is the answer. When we recall His faithfulness, our faith is grown. When we recount His provision, our fear is lessened. When we remember His presence, our doubt is defeated."

On the cusp of Spring and new growth peeking through the dead, I lean forward offering a sacrifice of praise and wearing the joy habit.  Today we gather our family and embrace hope.  Today we praise Him, we embrace love, we celebrate life!
 

I distinctly remember that day when I was sweetly broken.  Today I sing: "At the cross you beckon me.  You draw me gently to my knees, and I am lost for words, so lost in love, I'm sweetly broken, wholly surrendered... You've called me out of death.  You've called me into life.  In awe of the cross I must confess how wondrous Your redeeming love and how great is Your faithfulness."

source: Southern Belle View Daily

Today I remember that Jesus paid it all!  So I cherish that old rugged cross. So I sing "I will cling to the old rugged cross and exchange it one day for a crown."

Today we celebrate Jesus' birth, life, death, and resurrection.  Today we celebrate His love and our life in Him.  John 14:6 reminds us that:

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. 

No one comes to the Father except through me.

day they led Him up Calvary's mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now is ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again
Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/casting-crowns/glorious-day-living-he-loved-me-lyrics/#5v2TiJJRJWDRRu29.99

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Yes, my kids never cease to amaze me with their memory and sense of humor.  I love how their words are a window into their mind.  My youngest has always been full of questions.  He just turned five and, at his check up, sincerely informed his new doctor that "I'm not sure yet what I want to be (when I grow up).  Maybe a construction worker or astronaut... I might also like to be a paleontologist."  The doctor was impressed with his vocabulary.  Walking through the dinosaur exhibits at the Field Museum, I was impressed with his extensive knowledge of theropods, ceratopsians, and other dinosaurs and animals of the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods.  (Don't you know that pteranodons and other pterosaurs are actually flying reptiles, not dinosaurs?!)

I love how their words are also a window into their heart.  Yes, it's amazing how children can so simply and easily remind me to adjust my perspective too.  Let me share with you a recent story about how my oldest reminded me (without even knowing it) to watch my heart and words.

Asher and I recently embarked on a multiple day "adventure" to organize and clean his room.  This is something that we do on some level every few months.  Sometimes my oldest is thoughtful and particular about how he wants his room, but other times he is very quick to just shove things wherever they will fit (especially under his bed, in his closet, and in any drawer with any room whatsoever).  I have to admit that sometimes it can be a little frustrating to work with Asher on cleaning his room.  1) Asher does like organizing and, when he wants to get something done, he wants to do it the right way... well, a certain way... well, his way.  2) Asher does not like to get rid of anything, and he meticulously reviews every item and thoughtfully considers whether he can part with each item.  Okay, honestly, there are three reasons... 3) My oldest and I (yes, I was also the oldest in our family) are very much alike.

So, on day two, about 2 hours in to our "adventure," I realized that Asher keeps taping drawings on his window.  I was fine with it when he had plastic on his windows this winter, but I was worried now that he'd get the window glass all gummy.  So, I cautioned Asher to be sure to get all the tape off the window when he was done.  My oldest looked at me and explained why he likes to keep his drawings on the window...

"When it's rainy and dark outside, it reminds me that I always have light and happiness in my heart."

Wow!  Okay, that's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard!  And... very convicting.  Maybe mommy needs to stop sweating the small stuff and really focus on what's important each day.  Yes, cleaning his room was a task that needed to be done, but connecting daily with my boys is also necessary.

Pinewood Derby Races 2014

On Monday, April 7th, Asher's Cub Scouts Pack gathered for their annual Pinewood Derby Races.  The night was definitely fun!  The Tiger Den raced first.  Their group was the largest, and it got a little intense since a few of the cars were so evenly matched in speed.

Then Asher's group, the Wolf Den, raced.  It didn't take long to establish the ranking, because there were only five boys.  Asher lost the title of Den Leader and Pack Champion, but he was very pleased with coming in 2nd.  The interesting thing is another boy in his pack duplicated Asher's 2013 story... new to the group, first race ever, fastest car in the den, and beat every other den leader to take the title of Pack 17 Champion.  Hey, if Asher is going to lose by a little, then who better to lose to than the new Pack Champion?!

I was most proud of Asher for how he cheered on others, encouraged comradery, and enjoyed the night!

Little brother was thrilled to get to make his very first car this year.  While his buddy will be a Tiger next year, Ezra still has to wait one more year.  But, this year, Ezra was excited to make a car (like The King, a favorite car from Disney's Cars movie) and get to race at the end of the night... and it was fast!

Best of all, again this year, though is all the special time and memories with Grandpa!

Lego Birthday Parties

Ezra is five!  My baby boy is five... WOW.  I know, I keep saying this... BUT... My boys are growing up so fast!  This year, Ezra wanted to have a birthday party with friends, in addition to a family party.  I thought I'd share with you some theme inspiration and pictures from his parties.

As usual, when in search of inspiration for a project, I went to Pinterest.  Two years ago, when my oldest turned 6 and had his first friends party, I found some great ideas for his wizard theme.  I'm not sure what I was thinking deleting all those posts, but now I'm going to be keeping the gems from my birthday party searches on my "birthday ideas" board.

We had a party with family at my parents' house the weekend before his birthday.  Thanks to Delia Creates for the fun (and free!) invitation template.  (She also has two other free printables.  The template for Lego goodie boxes is so cute and easy!)  So, I just opened her invitation in Photoshop, added the "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" heading, and typed in text with the party specifics.  If you want to print your own (free) banner just like this heading, then head on over to Big K Little G for that link and some other great party ideas.

The cake evolved a bit from idea to execution.  Here is the inspiration I found:

sources: Cake Central, Manda's Candies, Rook No. 17

I knew #1 was super fun but not in my skill set.  ;)  So, I thought I'd combine #2 and #3.  My youngest didn't want marshmallows on his cake (as the Lego pegs), so I made some cupcakes to use.  But, uh oh, the cupcakes were too wide for the dimensions of the cake I ended up making!  No worries, I thought I'd just improvise and use my apple corer to make pegs in the right proportion.  Then we packed up all the cake pieces and headed out of state.

Birthday boy loved the idea of having his Lego people holding "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" candles.  Their hands were a little too big for the candle sticks, so I just made sure to put the bottoms of the candles securely in the cake too.  But, turns out, there really wasn't that much room then for all those pegs I had prepared.  He was happy with the people and candles, so I decided not to worry about frosting and adding the pegs to the cake.  Here's the finished cake close up and a picture of birthday boy and brother:

Ezra was thrilled to see our family, play outside with his cousins (now that it's finally warming up), eat cake, and expand his Lego collection.

On his birthday, we started the morning, as is tradition, with a breakfast muffin and candles.  He had a great time picking out a toy (with his saved up birthday money) and getting a birthday crown and balloon too. Then it was off to school to be "Special Helper" sharing a special snack and show-and-tell.  At school he received a birthday crown too.

But, I think the highlight of his birthday was having the phone ring for him, not once but three times.  Thanks to my sister, my mom, and my dad for making him feel so special!

We have to say thank you again to everyone for their generous gifts!  Ezra has been sleeping with his Lego towel, playing daily with his Lego Chima toys and community workers, and capturing lots of bad guys (both Lego and Imaginext) to take back to his Batman cave.  Also, Ezra saved up his birthday money to get an Imaginext dinosaur that he has had his eye on.  Stegosaurus even came to brother's soccer practice. :)

The weekend after his birthday, we had his first birthday party with friends.  He immediately remembered that a local candy shop has brick candies that look just like Lego bricks.  (They are yummy and really fun to build with too.)  So, we decided these candies would be a great party favor for his friends.  Birthday boy just wanted cupcakes, so I thought easy enough.  And, when frosting the big cake and the cupcakes, I made sure to use Wilton gel food coloring for the red.  I've learned before that no amount of the liquid red drops will ever make red.  In the future I will probably use it for the blue too, so I can get a more primary color.  We did add some themed cupcake toppers. 

Again, I used Photoshop to design and print the circle frame with "5" inside and edit the Lego faces down to the twelve faces I needed.  I found the Lego faces (free) download on the blog it's always autumn.  She has these graphics along with easy directions on how to make cute Lego Easter eggs.  (Frugal Christian Living also has an awesome free download sheet with cupcake toppers in a general Lego and Star Wars theme.  And Hale Grafx has a free download of a sheet of cupcake toppers with characters from the Lego Movie.)

sources:  twisty noodle, Aussie Pumpkin Patch, kids-n-fun

I wasn't sure what would entertain a handful of five year old children for an hour and a half.  So, we prepared a variety of activities.  They were busy with Lego coloring sheets and a marble run game before cupcakes, but then they just wanted to run around and play outside.

So, over the span of a week, my not-so-little guy celebrate three times.  He was thrilled to be able to stretch out the fun and share this big birthday with family and friends.